Santa Aur Bunta SMS

Santa Aur Bunta Bank Lootne Gaye,
Par Pistol Bhool Gaye…
Phir Bhi Bank Loot Liya

Kyoo Ke..
Bank Manager Bhi Sardar Tha.... Bola 

“Vishwas Hai Kal Tum Bandook Dikha Doge”Santa Ke Pita USA Se Laut Aaye.
Pita :- Teri Maa  Kahan Hai?
Santa  :-  Woh Toh  Parlok Sidhhar Gayee!
   Pita  :-  Ullu, Tune Mujhe Bataya Que Nahin?
Santa :- Maine  Socha Aapko Surprise Dunga

Bunta :-  Praji Meri Dictionary Mein "IMPOSSIBLE" Word Nahi Hai..!
Santa :  Ab Bolne Se Kya Faayda?  

Jub Kharide Thi Tab Hi Check Karna Tha Na"

Santa :-  Praji Tussi Aagle Se Janam Me Kya Banna Pasand Karoge?

Banta :-  Cockroach

Santa :- Cockroach  Kyu 
Bunta :-  Kyu Ke Meri Bibi Sirf Cockroach Se Hi Darti Hai

Santa Ko Apni Beti Ke Kamre Se Cigarette Ka Packet Mila..
Soochne Laga... Arre Yeh Cigrette Peeti Hai.. ?
Phir Usse Whisky Ki Botal Milee..

Socha...Arre Daru Bhi Peeti Hai ..?

Cupboard Khola..To Ek Nanga Ladka Khada Tha..
Phir Soocha. ."Hai Whayee Guru..Toh Yeh Sab Is Munde Ka Hai”

Santa Ko Koi Mobile Pe Tang Karta Tha
Santa Ne Naya Sim Card Kharid Kar Usse SMS Kiya..

Likha.. Mene Woh Sim Band Kar Diya Hai,

Ab Tu Toh Kya Tera Baap Bhi Mujhe Tang
Nahin Kar sakta

               

Oye Paaji, Apni Pregnant Wife Ko Itne Dard Mein Hospital Ki Jagah 
                   Pizza Hut Kyun Le Ja Raha Ho........ 
Santa :-  Kyun Key Pizza Hut Mein "Delivery Free" Hai.!

Santa Ke Ghar Uske Sasural Wale Aaye,
Jasmeet :- Aaji Jao Bahar Se Kuch Le Kar Aao.
Santa  Bahar Gaya Aur Taxi Lekar Aa Gaya 

Bunta :- Oye Agar Neend Na Aaye To Kya Kia Jaaye? 
Saanta: Neend Ka Intizar Karne Se Achha Hai Ki Banda So Hi Jaye

                                         

Ek Baar Exam Main Saawal Tha, "Challenge Kise Kehte Hain?"
Bunta Ne Sare Panna Khali Chod Ker Aakhri Panne Per Likha..
"Apne Baap Ki Aulaad Hai To Paas Ker Ke Dekh."

                         

Banta Rail Ki Patri Per So Gaya .. 
Aadmi Ne Pucha Kya Kar Rahe Ho?...Train Aayegi To Mar Jaoge! 
Bunta :- Mere Uper Se Hawai Jahaaz Guzar Gaya To Kuch Nahi Hua,

Train Kya Cheez Hai?

Teacher :- Delhi Me  Kutub Minar Hai.Bunta Class Mein Soo Raha Tha..Teacher Ne Utha Liya..
Teacher :-  Maina Kya Kaha ?. 
Bunta :-  Delhi Me Kutta Bimar Hai ..

Santa :- Yaar Meri Biwi Paani Se Bahut Darti Hai.
Bunta :- Tujhe Kaise Pata?
Santa :- Dopahar Ko Ghar Aaya To Woh Bathtub Mein Chaukidaar Ke Sath Naha Rahi Thi. 

    Santa :- Raat Bhar Train Mein Neend Hee Nahin Aayee,

Upar Ki Seat Mili Thi..
Bunta :- Toh Exchange Kyun Nahin Kiya
Santa:- Arrey Praji, Kisse Kehta...Neeche Ke Seat Pe Koi Bhi Nahin Tha.

Santa  :-  Is Mirror Ki Kya Guarentee Hai.
Dukandar :-  Aap Isse 100 Floor Se Niche Girao,

Ye Mirror 99 Floor Tak Nahin Tutega
Santa :-  Wah Bhai Wah !! Pack Kar Do..!..Jasmeet :- Lo Light Chalee Gayee..Garmee Lag Rahee Hai..
Santa :- Light Chali Gayee Toh Kya, Pankha Chalu Kar Do..
Jasmeet :- Lo! Ki Na Vahi Sardaron Walee Baat...
                Agar Fan Chalu Kiya Toh Mombatti Bhuj Nahin Jayegee...                    

Santa Singh Ne Ek Kawa Paal Liya..

Aab Soochne Laaga..Kya Naam Raakhe ?
Kawa Bauhot Mulayam Tha..
To Sochne Ke Baad Usne Apne Kawve Ka Naam 'Microsoft'

Mi-Crow-soft  Rakh Diya.

 Santa:- Oye Puttar..Gabra Mat. Tu Sher Da Puttar Hai
 Beta :- Oye Papaji, Teacher Bhi Yehi Bolti Hai.. 

Ke Tu Kisi Jaanwar Ki Aulad Hai.
             

Suhag Raat Pe Santa Ne Bibi Ko 500 Ka Note Deke Kaha,

Humne Yeh Kam Kabhi Free Mein Nahin Kia.
BiBi Ne 200 Wapas Deke Kaha,  Humne Bhi Apno Se Kabhi Jyada Nahin Liya.

Santa Aur Jasmeet Ko Ladki Hui..

Jasmeet :-  Sunoji, Jab Yeh Badi Hogi Toh Ladke Usse Patayengey
Santa :-  Oye, Koi Gal Nahin Jassi, Maine Is Problem Ka Solution Dhoond Liya Hai.
Jasmeet :-  Kya Solution?
Santa :-  Hum Iska Naam “Didi” Rakhengey
Bunta Singh Puri Zindgi Sochta Raha,

... Sochta Raha
... Sochta Raha
... Sochta Raha
... Aur Sochte Sochte Sow Gaya Ke Agar Meri Sister Ke 2 Bhai Hai To Mere Kyu Nahi..
Nasa Mein Santa Aur Bunta Ko Chand Pe Bheja Gaya,

Rocket Uda Magar Adhe Raste Se Vapas Aaya.
....Un Se Pucha Gaya To Bole...:- Aaj Amaswas Hai Chand To Nahi Hoga.
Santa Jungle Mein Ghoom Raha Tha.. 

Pedh Par Ek Saap Latha Hua Dikhayee Diya..

Paas Gaya Aur Bola..Iss Tehra Latak Ne Se Height Nahi Badhtee..
Ghar Jao Aur Maa Se Kaho..'Complan Ya Ovaltine' Pilayee...

Bunta Aur Preeto Train Ke Liye Platform Par Khade The
Itane Me ' PUNJAB MAIL'  Aayee,
Bunta  Bhag Kar Train Par Chad Gaya...

Aur Bibi Preeto Se Bola..

Jab ' PUNJAB FEMALE'  Aaye To Chad Jaana..!
Santa :-  Parso Meri Biwi Khuwe Me Gir Gayee, Bahut Chot Lagi, Bahut Chilla Rahi Thi..
Banta :-  Ab Kaisi Hai Wo..?
Santa :-  Ab Theek Hi Hogi, Kal Se Khuwe Se Awaz Nahi Aa Rahi Hai.!
Bunta Nalke Par Paani Pee Raha Tha..

Kuch Loog Jaama Ho Gaya...
Bunta Bola:- Arrey Ab Kya Ek Sardar Chain Se Paani Bhi Naih Pi Sakta..

                 Ismein Bhi Joke Chahiye Tumhe...
                 Jaan Loge Bechare Sardaron Ki..!

                                                  (¨`·.·´¨) Always
                                                    `·.¸(¨`·.·´¨) Keep
                                                   (¨`·.·´¨)¸.·´ Smiling!
                                                       `·.¸.·´